the present
profile
host
boy
Well. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it folks? How to update? Where to start.
Not much to update with eh? Especially when I talk to you all daily for like eighty hours. *sigh*
So my optimism was doing really good for awhile there, eh? Yeah. It really was. I don’t really know what happened to it though. I mean, that was a huge burst of optimism that came out of nowhere virtually, and well….I guess it’s gone. Or has left. Same thing. I don’t know.
So I know this psycho spaz who spazzes out a lot and goes psychotic. I spent two hours talking to her. It was very difficult. Let me tell you, my anxiety level has never been the same. It’s skyrocketed. Holy man.
In addition to this, I’m a huge whale. I’ve gained like a pound every day. I don’t know why and it won’t stop. It’s really really starting to freak me out though. The most I’ve ever been is 126 lbs. Yes, I know, I’m huge, don’t laugh. I don’t know. I think I’ve been eating too much. Well duh, that’s obviously the only explanation, right? Okay, so I’ve been eating too much. I guess I ‘ll have to cut down. Too many calories in the day I guess. So I’m supposed to have like 1600 maximum per day or something…I guess I’ll aim for 1000? We’ll see how that goes. LOL. Should be interesting. I feel so gross. Really. It’s inexplicable. It’s like there is fat flowing in my veins and filling my lungs and stomach…it’s so disgusting. Ugh. The feeling is nearly inexplicable.
Umm…I don’t really have anything funny to say.
I don’t really have any friends.
I’m pretty much a large whale. A large, fat whale. More of a failure than a whale though.
You don't really know
You never really listened
You watched me with your eyes
But you paid no
Attention to me
I know this feeling
I've seen it before
Heard it before
Felt it before
Tasted it before
I hate the way I am
I hate the way I was
I hate the way I'll never be
Today
Tomorrow
My never lasts forever
Take it away
Just take it away from me
I hate this bloody planet
I hate this bloody life
I hate opening my eyes
Lying next to the knife
I hate when my lungs are full
I hate when it tears
I hate that I know it all
I hate that no one hears
I hate how all the people
Breathe a next day into me
I hate the next day
And the day after
I'm waiting for the cold hand
To feel it in mine
Then I'll know
The end is just around the corner
Happy to close my eyes
Just around the corner
The cold hand in mine
The shivers
And chills of the dead on my spine
The tunnel to the light
This is my last night
Just around the corner
This is my last night
hhhokay. - Monday, May. 03, 2004 - 7:50 a.m.
back to the meaningless... - Friday, Apr. 30, 2004 - 10:28 a.m.
YAAAY! - Tuesday, Apr. 27, 2004 - 9:11 p.m.
NOH! - Monday, Apr. 26, 2004 - 11:03 p.m.
hallucinogenic - Sunday, Apr. 25, 2004 - 12:56 a.m.
Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.
If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you.
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call up the guy and hold the burning fuse to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."
Next Thanksgiving, here is a fun trick to play: When the mashed potatoes and turkey are being served, take some of both. But hide your turkey under your mashed potatoes. When your family asks "Don't you want some turkey?," pull the turkey out from under the mashed potatoes and yell "I tricked you!!"
The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.
Probably the worst thing about having King Kong go rampid in your town would be the huge, monster genitalia.
As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint.
I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then we had some growing up to do.
If when you die you get a choice between pie heaven and regular heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick but if not mmmboy